Lost Cause
by stax
Summary: All of Asuka's past failure's come to a head as she confronts the post-EoE world. (Spoiler warning)


Lost Cause Brought to you by.... Stax (email me at for anything!)

Usual disclaimers.... I dont own Eva, or the characters portrayed within Eva, thats all Gainax. Please dont steal from the nice folks who bring you Evangelion... This fic's a little violent, a little disturbing, but nothing too bad. Read at your own risk.. Oh, and do be sure to watch the... **_SPOILERS!_**

The hunter's eyes survey her killing ground. She readies her weapon, setting the deadly trap as a spider spins it's web. She focuses, staring at the grounds where her prey shall soon stand its final stand and breathe its final breath. She was Asuka Langley Sorhyu, designated pilot of Unit-02, mistress of her domain.

"All ready here," Asuka whispers into her radio as if lowering her voice would keep the 10 story, bright red mech hidden behind a small administration building. She presses the rifle to her shoulder and waits....

and waits....

and waits....

_He sure is taking a damn long ti-_

With a crash Asuka's thoughts are interrupted, the silence broken. There stands(well, hovers) her victim, right as he should be.

"He's done it! The 14th Angel has breached our final layer of defence!! Zeruel is in the Geofront!!"

Maya shrieks in the control room, as her now all too familiar tears of fear begin dripping down her cheek. Asuka steps from her deployment shaft, grinning demonically. _Here's my chance_, Asuka thinks, _This time Ill show that Shinji. He runs away while I stand and fight. Now they'll see what a pilot I am._ Growling, letting her ferality take over, Asuka unleashes her first barrage of fire. "DIE!!!" _Position target in the center, pull the switch. Target in the center, pull the switch..._ This mantra repeats through Asuka's mind as the computer continues retargeting Zeruel seeing things through the smokey veil she could not.

ka-chik ka-chik _Dammit, outta ammo._ As Asuka pauses in her assault to grab her next weapon, the smoke begins to clear. There stands Zeruel, untouched, an affront to all that Asuka was and would be. "I thought I told you to die!!!" Off goes another barrage. Asuka's new weapon, a rail-gun the size of a football field, lets out blast after defeaning blast, shrapnel coating the floor. ka-chik ka-chik _Again_ Two RPG Launchers.

ka-chik ka-chik _AGAIN_ A set of pistols.

ka-chik ka-chik

_**AGAIN**_ Asuka's eyes dart around desperately, but there are no more guns to be found. Shes burned through enough armaments to stop a small army, yet this beast stands there, its faceless form somehow seeming to grin at Asuka's ineptitude. One of its paper-like arms begins to raise and fold. "IM GETTING A HIGH ENERGY READING FROM WITHIN THE TARGET! LOOKOUT ASUKA!!" But it's too late. The parchment arm shoots out, now more powerful than any of Asuka's rifles, piercing her AT Field, through her neck, and into Asuka's soul as a hot knife through butter. Asuka screams, gasping for breath, hands grabbing at her own throat she is convinced is no longer connected to a head. Asuka screams, and Asuka cries. Through the screams and pain, Asuka can see only one thing through her eyes and on her monitors. Shinji was back, and as usual was stealing Asuka's thunder. Once again her injuries would be given a half-assed lookover before moving on to praise Shinji the Savior. _Sonuvabitch_ Before she succumbs to unconciousness, Asuka sees her undefeatable foe defeated so easily, sees the looks of ecstasy on the NERV crew despite the grimace of pain on her own. The tears, the agony, the yells, all stop. Asuka screams, and Asuka sleeps.

* * *

Asuka rolls from her cover, dropping her rifle to its stand and aiming. As the indicator glows, she mumbles to herself. "Die scum," escapes her lips, as the German crunches her finger to the trigger, firing off the shot. From there, everything goes to hell. "It's no good! The shot was off, the range was no good!" An unhappy tech reports.

Dammit ka-chunk Another round, another death dealer loads slowly into Asuka's still-cooling rifle. "You dont get it! You've got to run, Asuka!! The range is too short! You won't hit it and-", Aoba's eyes widen, "Oh , sir! I'm reading a high energy reading in the target, it's gonna-" Static is the last thing Asuka hears from her NERV controller. The clouds unfold to this abomonation, a single ray of light shining down as the Hand of God, touching Asuka and her own secrets, seemingly unable to hide from this beam. For just a moment, Asuka snickers. "Is this all its got? A shiney beam of light?" Her glee doesn't last long, however.

_Hello Asuka dear, where are you?_

Asuka's eyes shoot wide open, darting around her entry plug for the source of this impersonator. "WHO ARE YOU?!?"

_Oh come now Asuka, don't you know your own mothers voice? Or are youtoo ignorantto recognize me?_

"M-m-Mama?"

_It was so easy, all you had to do was follow me. But you had to be brave, and bury your pain. It can't last forever though, one day you'll be a good girl and join your mama and you can stop hiding those fears._

"But I am a good girl... What do you mean one day?"

_You aren't a good girl Asuka, you won't even obey your Mother. Itold you to come with mea decade ago, and you wallow in self-pity instead, walling yourself from the world to try and stop from seeing it and it from seeing you. You're a naughty girl for disobeying your Mama, but if you come with me we can forget...._

"You aren't my Mama! My Mama loves me!"

_No Asuka, no she doesn't._

Asuka collapses as the voices rushes by faster. The faces of anyone she'd hurt through the years came pouring into Asuka's. All the boys she used to beat up, all her stood up dates, Shinji; all of them towering over Asuka's meager form as she curls into a ball, trying to keep them out. _I told you Asuka, you can't stay away forever, you can't stop your Mama. _With that, the voices stopped as Asuka's mind calmed, slowly returning to reality. Rei's cold voice echoes through her mind. "The target is down." Asuka sobs, pulling into a tighter ball. _I don't wanna die, but I wanna be a good girl. Tell me what to do Mama, tell me what to do to make you happy! _"TELL ME WHAT TO DO TO!!"

* * *

Asuka ascends from her lair, deep beneath the lake within the Geofront. The waters pour over the armor of her Unit, cleansing it for the battle soon to come. However, this Evangelion has no pilot, merely the shell of one, laying within it. "Mama," Asuka mumbles."Idont' wanna die. I don't wanna die. I dont' wanna die. I don't wanna die. I dont' wanna die. I don't wanna die. **I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!"** With that cry, tears of rage replacing those of self-pity, Asuka, Unit-02, and Kyoko Zeppelin Sorhyu awaken. Since Ariel's touch she had laid dormant, since that vile beast had invaded her she had no power. _Since that jackass Shinji stole my glory._

The JSSDF guns and cannons do little. Unit-02 rips a path even redder than itself, destroying gun emplacements and the men manning them all together. One after another, they're all torn down, setting the Geofront ablaze. _That was too easy_, Asuka thinks, until she hears crashes all around her. A feeble barrage from across the laketears her power cable to bits. _3:35:00_

Her eyes check the Geofront once more, seeing white units, though no purple. _He won't beat me this time... HE CAN'T BEAT ME NOW! MUTTI'S GOT MY BACK!" _

_Yes I do dear_

The warrior princess leaps, finally performing at her peak, her 'doll' doing so as well. She grabs at one of the grinning Eva's, smashing its face to bits before grabbing it in a massive-scale fireman's hold and cracking it like a good piece of seafood.

_One_

A hop, skip and a jump and Asuka pins another beneath the lake that had held her till just a moment ago. Out comes the Progressive knife, and out comes the Unit's brain _Two_ Another down with a missing limb and a broken neck. Yet another beheaded by it's own comrades blade. Bisected, spikes through the skull, Asuka's blood boils with rage, though her mouth grins with glee.

_Three, Four, Five, Six.. And a half I suppose, darling._

The girl giggles to herself, screaming at the opponents that cannot hear her. "I CANNOT BE DEFEATED! NOT WITH MOMMA WATCHING OVER ME!"

A few well-trained punches, and she's sure that last foe is down. SHE'S WON! "SEE MOMMA! I'm a good girl! I can do anythi-"

From behind, the strange Production Unit blade flies for Unit-02, pausing at the AT Field before morphing into what should be orbiting the moon.

"The Lance of Longinus.."

The Lance fulfills its duty, piercing both the AT Field and Unit-02's skull, driving Asuka back into the ground and back into her psychosis. They surround her, picking at her flesh, and her last attempt to drive them off is met with seven more lances. Asuka falls back into silence and slumber.

* * *

Asuka awakes on the beautiful beach, lying bleeding beside the one she wished to never see again, Shinji.

_It's all his fault, he did this to me. It was all him..._

Right then it begins to dawn on Asuka what's wrong with this beach, this world. There is nothing, no people, no buildings, just a never ending sea on one horizon, never ending ruins on the other, this sandy beach stretching between the two. "Mein gott," Asuka mumbles,"what have you done this time, oh Shinji the Savior?" Asuka couldn't believe him. First he strips her of all pride, trying to steal Asuka's mother right from her own grasp. _But thats not enough for him,__ now hes destroyed the whole damn world, and nearly killed you._ _But we wont let that happen, will we Asuka dearest?_

_No Mama, we won't. No we won't._

"You bastard, I'll make you pay for what you've done to me." Asuka continues her lecture at Shinji's unconcious form as she raises a stone above her head, ready to strike. But just as quickly she sets it back down. _The little bitch just takes it in stride... He likes the pain, he loves that agony.. _

_**AHH!** God the pain...._ Asuka runs a hand down herbelly, feeling out a long gash, still bleeding rather heavily in her side. Tears pour down her face as the numbing shock begins to waste away, leaving only the pain. _No, No please, Mama, don't do this to me... Take the pain away..._ _You know just as well as I do Asuka, theres only one way to rid yourself of that pain, I've told you many times before. Stop being a bad girl and listen to your mama. Goodbye_ "Mutti! Please no! I can't take it anymore, I'll do it... I'll be there soon mutti..." Asuka drags her bloodsoaked form towards the ruins, not looking back to see the rising sun and the path of blood she leaves behind.

* * *

Shinji awakens.... ....and his reaction to this new, darkly reborn world is not so different from his female companion's. _What have I done?_ Shinji stares at the sea, seeing the remnants of buildings, that once stood proudly, now sunken beneath the clear blue waters. The tide licks at his feet, but Shinji pulls his legs away fearfully, afraid of what wrath's this great ocean may still have in store. Memories continue to surface, memories of all the people this sea had swallowed up along with the great edifices. _Toji, Kensuke, Misado, Rei, Ritsuko, Hikari, Maya..._ He pauses for a moment, two names sticking in his mind like the last bits of molasses in a jar. _I've left out Father and Asuka... He was just a bastard, but she was... Well, she was, Asuka._ Shinji cracks the first smile of this new world, reminiscing. She was such a bitch to you, why don't you care Shinji? _Because she didn't mean what she said. She puts on a tough front, but one day she'll break through it, one day I'll get her to say what she means, just you wait and see_ But wait, the voice reminds, where is she? You're the only one left, how can you ever know? And Shinji weeps. _What have WE done?_ The tearstained 'man' continues panning the landscape, finding nothing that stood out, except the path. A crimson path leading through the sands to the ruined city, starting beside Shinji like another body. _You see! I'm not alone! Someone's alive, and everything will be all right!_ Elated with this dream of compainionship, Shinji follows the path into the city.

* * *

Asuka slowly climbs the chair, a rope in hand. _My old schoolroom._ She smirks. _That's gotta mean something to somebody..._ Her smirk quickly turns to a grimace as she reaches the next phase of her journey, standing. But Asuka doesn't care about the pain anymore. She's beyond that, in a new, transcendental state, beyond agony or sadness. _I'm coming Mama. Very soon._ She stands, wobbling slightly before grabbing onto a ceiling pipe, firming her stance. _Just a little longer chair, I'll be done soon enough.._ She ties the knot, the roughness of the rope against her wounds would normally floor Asuka, but her brain is already too overloaded to even notice. She tightens the noose, feeling her throat rub against the rope as she swallows deeply. Asuka turns, to look out the windows one last time, to spit upon the world she is about to exit. But that isn't all she sees.

It's him.

Somehow,by some unknown guiding spirit Shinji has found her. _He won't even let me pass in peace, the little... I'll show him... **HE'LL NEVERBEAT ME AGAIN!**_

* * *

His breath escapes in gasps, panting as he comes to the end of his road._Someone'sat school? Kensuke orToji or-_Shinji scans the room quickly, hoping to find his freind, his new companion for all of eternity.

It's her.

Though he recognizes her form, this is a different Asuka. There are mental changes Shinji cannot comprehend, let alone see, but there is plenty for him to see. Cuts cover her body, the tattered remains of her plugsuit not its natural red but a darker, crimson stain of blood. Her face is a mess, chunks of hair missing, charred flesh across one cheek, the remnants of tears mixing with the dried blood across her countanence, the list goes on. But that's not what strikes Shinji. What gets to him is.... She's smiling. Through all of the blood, the burns and the soot; her eyes are tightly shut, lips locked in a deep, angelic smile. As her eyelids lift, revealing the bloody socket where the Production Eva's had taken their prize, Shinji sees the noose around her neck. "No Asuka!!!" Thi s ragged descendant of Eve smiles deeper, speaking just one devestating word. "Y-y-yes" The single speech costs Asuka, as she coughs deeply, spreading further blood on the floor around her. Shinji doesn't dare move, afraid a single misstep would set into play some horrible, unimaginable things. "B-but you've got so much Asuka! So much to live for! Think of it all, we can live, we can survive, we can be happy together! Think of all we've got!" But Asuka simply shakes her head, mouthing out another word.

_Mama_

Asuka kicks away her stand with all the strength she has. Her neck does not break, instead she convulses on the noose as her already injured body quickly begins demanding its oxygen. Shinji rushes to free her, but the noose is too strong and he is too weak. Shinji cries against Asuka's chest as her sole eye turns to the spirit only she can see.

_See Mama, see what I've done! I got Shinji and I'm a good girl! Aren't you proud, aren't you happy?_

A fire, which Asuka cannot see nor understand, lights behind the eyes of this 'angel'. _**MAMA?**_ Her mental cries are met with nothing more than painful silence.

_But I'm a good girl..._

With a final convulsion a crack is heard and Asuka's head slumps. All that was Asuka Langley Sorhyu flows from this world, as Shinji stands holding her shell, wondering whether his tears are for Asuka, or for his now inescapable eternal solitude.

**THE END**

**(Thanks to TFE, along with a bunch of folk from evafics for pre-reading notes!)**


End file.
